Slave to Time
Life is all about timing…I’m a planner by nature. I’ve thrived on a schedule since I was a little girl. My friends just shake their heads at me, but its hard for me to understand why everyone doesn’t simply their life through planning. People claim they don’t have the time….that I have too much time on my hands. I want to respond by saying, “Well duh! Of course I have more time on my hands than you do! I planned ahead!” I plan out what we’re having for dinner a month in advance. I do my household chores on a schedule….I had my lesson plans for my kindergarten classroom planned out the summer before school started. It stresses me out to not have a plan…to not know what is coming next, and when. And here I sit….completely unaware of when the next HUGE thing in my life is coming. This is something I can only plan for to a certain degree. I’m a little less than three weeks from delivery, and know that my son could choose to come at any time now. As my contractions are growing closer together, the planner in me just wants to know WHEN. In times like these, I am reminded that I am not in control, and all the planning and scheduling in the world won’t give the control to me. I need to remember that I am in God’s hands, and that HE is the one who guides my course. Sure, He allows me to plan out the silly things….He lets me have laundry day. He lets me know that in three weeks, we’re trying that new flauta recipe. He loves me even though I need to plan out our social calendar weeks in advance. Regardless of whether or not I know when Henry is coming, God does. He knows the precise second. That is comforting if I allow it to be. If I remember that I have the Creator of the universe in charge of my life….how can I not let that comfort me? For a neurotic and compulsive planner and a slave to a schedule, it helps to know that even in the times when I don’t have the answers or the time-table, HE does.