The Confessional – Volume 5
The Confessional evolved out my blog’s basic premise…We will all forever be chasing “Supermom.” She’s not real. We’re not perfect…none of us! Yep, not even the mom in line at the grocery store with the perfect little sweater dress, styled hair, earrings.(I’ll bet you she stuck her kids in front of Toy Story 3 to achieve that look)….Not even the mom toting around the extremely quiet kids at the library (I guarantee you they yell at home..) Not even the mom who manages to juggle soccer practice, preschool, music lessons, swimming lessons, and playdates..(Guarantee it that she is drinking each night by 5:15.) We all stumble and fall….mess up…say things to our husbands and kids we wish we could take back…We’re not perfect mothers, but we’re all in this together. If you’re new to the blog and have missed previous “episodes” of The Confessional, you can check them all out here: The Confessional
This week, I have a guest blogger in the Confessional. She is a busy mother of 4 and has bravely stepped in to confess her mothering sins to us all. Please let me know if YOU would like to take a turn in The Confessional.
Father forgive me…
“I have been following these motherhood confessions since their inception and have been moved and reassured that I am not the only sinful soul out there. I am a mother of four and have been a Mom long enough to have enough heinous mothering sins to land me straight in the seventh level of Cutie’s Inferno. So it is with a firm resolve for absolution that I steel my nerve, square my shoulders and with my pop-bead rosary in hand enter the confessional.”
Bless me father for I have sinned:
- I hate to clean the bathrooms so sometimes I will put off cleaning it for as long as two weeks, and just continually wipe them down with Clorox wipes.
- My eldest son took forever to stop soiling his underwear when he was potty training. I got so fed up that I made him rinse his underwear out in the toilet by himself.
- On occasion my five-year-old daughter will have no clean underwear so I will slap on some of her brothers Spiderman underoos and send her on her way.
- I occasionally listen to Katy Perry while I’m working around the house (she’s catchy)
- When I was pregnant with Madison I passed gas in pubic and blamed it on Jackson, “Jackie you stinky little boy are you filling your diaper”.
- I’ve ignored the baby crying in her crib so that I could take a shower.
- I’m not above bribing my children under the guise of “rewarding for good behavior”.
- My favorite example of all my Mommy transgressions occurred a couple of years back. Our beloved cat Brody was very ill and we had to make the painful decision to put him down. The day came and our kids were heartbroken. So that same afternoon I decided to take the kids to Petco for a replacement consolation pet. I didn’t want anything with too much commitment so after careful consideration we picked out a goldfish. We came home and the children watched with rapt attention as I carefully prepared the fish bowl complete with a little fish castle for him to play in. The time had come for our fish “Juan” to be introduced to his new home. So I (having had kept many aquariums) went to pour some of the water out of the bag because everyone knows that you do not want water from the store aquarium in your new habitat. Only I lost control and Juan slipped out of the bag and straight into the garbage disposal! Happily the device was not turned on so I plunged my hand in to retrieve the fish. I picked through orange peels and discarded soggy peanut butter sandwich (never had I worked so hard) and retrieved our fish and deposited him safely in his new fishy home. However, we woke the next morning to an obviously dead fish lying sideways on the bottom of his bowl. I told the kids he was tired from his adventures the day before and taking a nap. The minute the kids were safely on the school bus I grabbed my purse and was off to Petco to buy a replacement fish. The kids came home from school and found a much-rested fish swimming happily around his new home, never the wiser.
Check us out in The Confessional every Sunday! Hoping YOU will step into The Confessional too! We’re all in this together ladies!