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Posted by on Jun 30, 2012 in Diary of a Supermom, Faith, Featured | 10 comments

What if it was Magic Michelle?

What if it was Magic Michelle?

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Picture it. Your husband/boyfriend and a group of his buddies are heading out for boy’s night. They might stop and grab a burger and few beers, but what they’re really excited about is this new movie…They haven’t been able to stop talking about the smokin’ hot bodies of these perfect Hollywood starlets all week. Their tweets are all about how bangin’ her body is, and how they wish this was real life…..oh, what he wouldn’t do to catch some of that in person! He cannot wait to watch this girl dance in her thong on the big screen. How would you be feeling about yourself? Your body image? Your self esteem? Feeling like his first choice? Feeling honored and respected? Probably not.

However, when it comes to sex, lust, and pornography, we have a HUGE double standard. My friend Joy, posted a vlog a few weeks ago on the same topic, concerning 50 Shades of Grey, and I think the same principle applies with things like the new film, “Magic Mike.” If our husband is struggling with pornography, talks about other women, flirts with salesgirls, talks about his “list,” etc, we’re hurt (and hurt may be a huge understatement for some women)…disrespected…trust has been broken…We begin to doubt if we’re good enough…if we are “enough”  for him…if we hold his interest…We look at ourselves and begin to question our worth and our beauty.

At the same time, we’re quick to throw out the standards we hold our husbands to, and don’t stop to consider the way our actions in this area can affect him as a man. While a man may not be as quick to get on the defensive, stop and consider how your man may feel about you going on and on about Channing Tatum’s abs for five minutes….how he feels watching your eyes light up at the thought of Matthew McConaughey stripping…If you’re not reacting to him in the same way or demonstrating your sexual excitement (sorry mom) towards him, it’s likely his ego/self-image will be wounded. Men have emotions too….Men struggle with body image and want to be “enough” for us as their wives. When we are ogling other men, be it on-screen or off, we are ultimately disrespecting our husband, and failing to honor our marriage commitment to one another.

Lust goes both ways…While we as women may not be hitting up the internet for hard-core porn, if a movie we watch or a book we read causes us to think sexual thoughts about someone other than our husband, we’re guilty of lust.

I’m not here to tell you to not see this movie….Your choices are yours, and only you know what will and won’t affect your relationship. I just put this out there so we might take a pause, and consider if we are living out a double standard on the issue of sex/lust, and how you might feel if the tables were/are turned. If you are a woman who has a husband that struggles with pornography, you know what it does to you….how it affects your emotions….your esteem…I don’t want to be a wife that causes my husband to doubt himself. I don’t want David to ever question where my thoughts lie. I want and need him to know that my eyes are ONLY for him…and frankly, Channing Tatum’s got nothing on him!

Just ask yourself how you might feel if it were Magic Michelle….If the thought of that doesn’t make YOU feel very magical, then consider skipping it….and making some magic with the one you love instead.

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10 Comments

  1. Wow! Such a good point! I will definitely be thinking long & hard (and asking my husband for HIS feelings about it) before running out to see this movie!

    • Thank you Carissa! Exactly what I was hoping for…that women might just stop and consider the other side of the coin. Thanks so much for your support!!

  2. I do not agree. Think back to 90% of horror movies…hello big chested girl in white tank top in the rain running scared, didn’t I see you in 100 other horror ficks? Though so! Transformers, every man can tell you Megan Fox is the hot chick in the movie, can they tell you any other actor? Highly doubtful. So a vast majority of blockbuster films can include scantily clad women romping around in bras and panties or include sex scenes where the women are baring almost everything, however this movie comes out and *poof* we forget all about them? I think not.
    I am not running out to see Magic Mike, although I am sure I will eventually watch it. Nor have I read 50 shades of Grey, (I am a Dean Koontz kinda girl!). I am impressed that finally a movie has been geared towards entertaining a woman’s hormones instead of a man’s.

    • You have to be honest, though, M.M. didn’t have an occasional good looking guy walking around shirtless. It didn’t have one main character with a single scene of indecency (although negotiating principles is okay for how many scenes?-anyway…). The movie is about strippers. It’s a stripper movie.
      And the idea that ‘yeah, now it’s even’ isn’t good. We have movies made for ‘us’, too. Think of all the rom-coms out there that make our husbands look like romance-anemic losers. Most women attach first to the heart of a male character, not his body, so they can both be dangerous territories in which to wander. It comes down to our heart. How is this movie going to encourage my spouse? How am I strengthening my marriage through this? If we aren’t strengthening it, we are tearing it down.

  3. Women have struggled with lust for just about as long as men have, we just don’t consider it a ‘lust problem.’ For example, how long have romance books been around? What about Soap Opera’s? I’ve heard alot of excuses, and used a few myself, but lust is lust. Wheither you actually physically commit the act or just fantasize or read about it, it’s still treading on dangerous ground.

    • Thank you Cristi! I completely agree with you. =)

  4. I was thinking the exact same thing as my family was walking into the theater and we passed the holding pen of 30 and 40-something women waiting to see this movie. All women. I wondered what it would be like to see a holding pen of all men waiting to see a stripper movie. I hate the double standard. And don’t get me started on Shades of Gray. Some women in my neighborhood playgroup want to have a bookclub/50 shades party! WTH? What could you possibly want to celebrate or discuss? If the guys were wanting to get together to have a centerfold of the month party – women would be outraged. Ok, I’ve vented…lol. I’m glad my husband and I are on the same page and have mutual respect for each other in this area.

    • I wish more relationship were that way! (I’m lucky too!) Thanks so much for your support on this, and for your commitment to live above the standard.

  5. You women are angels. As a single dad, there’s little incentive left to consider committing to the vast majority of women in 2015.

    You all serve as reminders that it’s not a lost cause, and that there actually are decent women still out there.

    The sad thing is I don’t think most girls realize that when the men in their future find out they ever went to see this trash, those men are automatically going to make inferences about her character, even if he doesn’t voice it.
    For many, it will be the difference between a guy considering a serious relationship, or just using a girl for sex.

  6. Yes, thank you.some of my friends don’t understand how I’m not interested in these types of movies. As their, husbands don’t care. II’m sure mine would say he doesn’t care either if asked. But I care. To me, it’s not that hard to understand that I love my husband and don’t want to see that kind of movie. These, ” stars” don’t hold a candle to how my husband loves me in each moment, good or bad.

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