You Might be a Child of the 80’s If…

Today is my birthday…the big 3-2. In honor of being a baby of the ’80s, I’ve compiled a most excellent, tubular, and radical list of things children of the ’80s will appreciate. Sit back, pop open a can of Tab or Crystal Clear Pepsi, and take a little stroll down memory lane.

You just might be a child of the 80’s if…..

you wanted to be her…

or her.

You probably had a crush on her brother…

or maybe on this guy….

and you probably wanted to live next door to him.

You  ripped their pictures from the pages of this,

and plastered them all over your bedroom walls.

It made your day when your Mom put one of these in your lunchbox:

and you probably drank this to stay awake at your middle-school lock-in:

And, you likely loved making “graveyards” when you went out to eat with your family.

You knew Mariah back when she wore flannel,

and Paula when her craziness was limited to dancing with animated cats,

and you just might have tried to wear your pants backwards.

You spent your Friday nights playing

or

or

zit stickers and all.

You crossed your fingers and hoped for the M (or at least the H),

and wrote all about the boys in your list in one of these,

and then stuck it inside this:

You used this to watch your movies,

printed out cards and pictures on your Dot Matrix printer,

chased Carmen Sandiego, traveled the Oregon Trail, and munched numbers in computer lab at school,

and recorded a jingle or little song to be your family’s outgoing message on one of these.

You probably stayed up late on Thursday nights to watch The Cosby Show,

got really excited when they’d change their opening dance routine or do a lip-sync show,

and curled up to watch them using your Pillow Person. (So much better than Pillow Pets!)

You know EVERY word to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song,

that Goonies never say die,

and that it is absolutely imperative to head-bang to Bohemian Rhapsody.

You can’t hear the words “Duck Tales” without immediately singing “Woohoo,”

remember what it’s like to sit and anxiously wait to log onto the internet,

and drank your apple juice out of one of these on Saturday mornings.

You couldn’t read these fast enough,

had one of these around your neck,

and feared Gremlins, Murky, Gargamel, and Skeletor.

You know that Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael were more than painters (they’re heroes in a half-shell!),

are still wondering what Nanny’s face looks like,

and know that strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

You were totally jealous of the kid that had one of these,

HAD to have these,

and your parents probably have a bucket of these still sitting around their attic.

You brought your lunch to school in a hard plastic lunchbox with matching thermos,

cried when Artax died,

waited to tape your favorite song off the radio,

and know that being a baby of the ’80s is like, totally righteous!