This morning as I was browsing the internet while enjoying my morning coffee, I stumbled upon a blog post entitled, “I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry” by Amy Glass. The last thing I want to do is send more traffic and attention her way, but I felt compelled to respond – to defend – to protect the amazing life’s work of the mother.
The author of the article claims that the “real” accomplishments in life are things like solo backpacking trips and job promotions. She states, “You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.” She goes on to write that society must stop applauding women for doing nothing. Nothing. In her world, marriage and motherhood are nothing.
It’s not hard to surmise that the author has never experienced motherhood or marriage. A wife and/or a mother can tell you that our daily life is comprised of a whole bunch of somethings.
You can almost hear the sardonic disdain drip from her lips as she writes that things like a husband and children hold us back from any “real” accomplishments.
Getting married and having a baby – those aren’t the accomplishments. A ring and a piece of paper don’t make you a WIFE. A baby or child who lives at your house doesn’t make you a MOTHER. No, the real accomplishments are the acts of self-less, sacrificial, unconditional love. These accomplishments can’t be understood by someone who lives only for themself. This generation of “me” has raised up people like this disenchanted young woman who can’t see what it takes to live for the benefit of others.
She views wives and mothers as foolish creatures who have given up on the hopes of doing anything of worth.
With pity and unheard of levels of condescension, she denigrates women who “merely” manage a household and think “stupid things like that are “important.”
Ladies, I’m here to tell you – it IS.
Anybody can keep the laundry washed, the toilets scrubbed, and put a casserole on the table at dinnertime. Anyone can make sure the third grade homework assignment is done and can hunt down the missing soccer cleat.
But it takes a REAL woman to be a MOTHER.
A “household manager” is the furthest thing from a mother. A mother is NOT the maid, the cook, the book-keeper, and the chauffeur.
Many women have babies. Many women keep their homes clean. But it takes a strong, talented, selfless, amazing woman to raise a child.
It takes a MOTHER to raise up children who don’t grow up to knock others down. It’s a real accomplishment to raise a child who accepts choices and lifestyles that are different than their own. It’s a triumph to raise a little girl who grows into a strong and confident woman, who sticks up for other women, and applauds their efforts – in any field. It’s something to celebrate when you raise a little boy who grows into a caring and loving man – one who shows respect for people in all walks of life.
I will never climb the corporate ladder or hitch-hike my way through Europe. But, I’ve raised four children who would never put someone else down, simply for making choices that are different from their own. My children will grow up knowing that success comes in many forms. My babies will grow up knowing that happiness takes a unique shape and form for every person. My children will treat others with respect and kindness. The world is and will be a better place because my four children are in it – and that – is a real accomplishment.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that what you’re doing isn’t important. You are raising a child – and that is your magnum opus – your life’s work. You are a mother, and you are amazing.