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Posted by on Mar 18, 2014 in Daily Encouragement, Diary of a Supermom, Family Life, Featured, Parenthood, Uncategorized | 1 comment

Dear Working Mom: It’s Okay to Work

Dear Working Mom: It’s Okay to Work

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Judgement. Resentment. Gossip.

The working mother is no stranger to these. She puts in long hours at the office and comes home to continue her work. Though she may get to interact with some adults at work, there is much she misses out on. There are no playdates, mom’s groups, or morning get-togethers at the park or local indoor playground. Mothers who gave up their career to stay home may resent her. Mothers may judge her. Many feel as though her choice is theirs to comment on, question, or attack.

As a working mom, mornings were hectic, as I rushed to get myself and my young daughter ready.  I’d head to work, and spend my day pouring myself out for other people’s children. After work, I’d pick Hannah up, head home, and try to sneak in  some playtime before making dinner. Once she was in bed, it was back to lesson planning, paperwork, and grading.

bekki working

There was never enough time.

I was tired, stretched thin, and constantly felt like I had nothing left to give. And yet, I gave. I gave what I could each and every day. I was doing my best – and making the choice that was best for our family. And every few days, someone would ask when I was going to leave the classroom. Didn’t I miss watching my baby grow up? Wasn’t I worried about her? How did I feel about having someone else “raise” her?

It was clear what the “right” answers were. “Real” moms just don’t work.

There are some who would like to make working mothers feel as though they are “less than.” You’re told that your “place” is in the home. If you work out of necessity you’re shamed for not having enough money to be a single income family. If you work by choice, you’re labeled as selfish or non-maternal.

Society would have you believe that there is only one true “Mom.” (And she doesn’t spend her day at the office.) I am here to tell you that “Mom” doesn’t fit in a box. A stay-at-home mom is no better or worse than a working mom. A working mom is no better or worse than a stay-at-home mom. There is not a right or wrong choice to be made.

You are doing what is best for YOUR family. To work or not to work is YOUR choice, and you will make the right one.

You have the right to choose to work. You have the right to chase your dreams and establish a career. You have the right to give up the corner office and stay at home. You have the right to divide your time at home, and work from home. Working is a VALID choice.

Whether you work during the day away from home, work from home, or stay-at-home full time, you are as much of a mother as the next girl. Your work status does not define who you are as a mother or change your worth.

At the end of the sometimes VERY long day you put in, you LOVE those babies as much as the mom who stayed home. (And they love you too!) You are doing what you need to do to support yourself financially or emotionally. Your choice is okay. (And so are YOU!)

 

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Each family is unique and has its own special needs and agendas. Sometimes the mother is able to stay home and be a full time homemaker; other moms have to work in order to provide food and clothing for the family and help put a roof over their heads. No mother should ever judge another because of differences in lifestyles. Some mothers can be very hateful and judgmental because they think the woman’s place is in the home, and there are no exceptions. I feel that mothers should support and encourage one another, whether they are stay-at-home moms are working mothers who must hold down a job and take care of a family as well.

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