To The Woman Making Comparisons: You are Enough
Today should have been a great morning. My husband and I are at the stage in our life where we’re able to sneak away for a few hours – leaving our oldest in charge at home. And today, we headed out for a few kid-free hours.
My husband knew of a little outdoor “Fall Fair” happening in our area, so we decided to check it out. There were booths full of pallet signs, chunky throws, and potted mums. The wares were absolutely lovely.
After a few minutes of browsing, my attention became focused on the other women at the fair. Had I missed a memo about acceptable attire? I looked down at my jeans, Converse, and graphic sweatshirt – an outfit I feel at home in, and suddenly felt out of place – and “less than.” In my mind, every other woman there was wearing the quintessential fall outfit – leggings, boots, adorable plaid, and a skillfully tied scarf. (I can barely get mine in a loop – and that’s after looking at half a dozen “how-to” images.) These were women who probably knew what “contouring” meant and didn’t need to watch YouTube videos to figure out how to do their hair. And suddenly, I wasn’t living my life – I was longing for theirs.
You see, comparison takes us out of our moments. It steals them – right along with our joy, confidence, and security. I’ve spent the last few hours just feeling….ugly….not good enough….not pretty enough….not fashionable enough…not enough. And based on the conversations I have with women on a regular basis, I know you’ve been there. And it has to stop.
We have to become okay with who we are. And don’t just be okay with it – OWN it. Don’t see yourself as the girl who can’t tie a scarf, has thin hair, doesn’t know crap about makeup, and just isn’t as pretty as the other girls. See yourself as the girl who is comfortable being comfortable – who would rather look natural than done-up, and who is just out looking at cute decorations with her husband.
Let the ladies with the perfect make-up and pinteresty outfits do their thing. Let the crafty mom fill her fridge with seasonal projects. Let the gourmet woman snap as many pics of her food as she wants. That’s THEIR thing. You do yours.
YOUR thing can be different from THEIR thing. Different doesn’t mean less than. Differences are exciting – they mean we are owning who we are and doing what we were gifted to do. We are stronger better women when we stay true to who we are, enjoy OUR moments, and let everyone else live theirs.
So today, when you see a women who triggers your insecurity – don’t dwell in it. Shut it down. Don’t allow comparison to steal one more moment from you. Live YOUR life and live it to the fullest.
The next time I’m out with my doll of a husband and the “not enough” lies start racing through my head, I hope and pray that these truths drown out my nonsense:
- I am enough.
- My worth doesn’t change based on what other people think of me (or what I THINK other people think!)
- The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else.
- I do not have to be the same as everyone else. It’s okay to be ME. (even w/o scarf tying skills!)
- Comparison is the thief of joy.
You’re loved ladies. Keep being you.