This is something I jotted down several years ago when I was just beginning my journey as a stay at home mom…and was also the inspiration for this blog…Let’s face it..we’re all chasing the supermom title…We just need to realize we’ve already caught it…
Today is my first day as a stay at home mom. I am thrilled that I have the opportunity to stay at home with our beautiful daughter and our soon-to-be baby boy. This morning, I began to think about what this means…especially for my husband. His sacrifice deserves a great return…He is commuting over 100 miles a day to provide for our family, and still comes home with a smile on his face, ready to talk to me about my day, and eager to play with our daughter. He’s amazing, and I’m so blessed. As I begin this new phase of my life, so many doubts and questions overwhelm me…I don’t want to let David down…I don’t want to let Hannah down…My family means the world to me, and now that looking after them is officially “my job,” I feel as though I want to make sure their life is ideal. I am constantly trying to think of ways to make my husband’s day brighter…to meet just one more of his needs….to have one more thing done for him when he gets home. I want to provide my daughter with the best attention possible. I want to make sure that she is learning, happy, engaged, and loved. I want my house to be sparkling, my freezer to be filled with meals, my home to be warm and inviting….I want to get my projects done….I realize that I want to be super-mom.
I’ve said it before…life is one giant transition after another. It seems sometimes that just when we start to get comfortable in one mode of living, something comes along that forces us to step outside our box and evaluate our options. Of course, we can choose to crumble…to focus on our feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. However, we can look at what is ahead, and choose to grow…to learn…to embrace what life has thrown our way.
Will I ever be super-mom? Probably not. Will my house always be perfect? No. Will my daughter always have ideal, picture-perfect experiences? No. Will I let my husband down? Sometimes. Realizing my limitations, and choosing to not hold myself to some idyllic “June Cleaver” standard will allow me to ultimately be a better wife and mother. I know all of this is true. And yet, I know myself….I know I will struggle with the feelings of inadequacy. As a teacher, it was easy for me to simply do the best I could…knowing that “yes, there is always something more I can do, but I’m doing the best I can.” However, when it comes to my family, I know that my best will never feel like enough…I fear I may always chase the super-mom title…
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