Welcome back to The Confessional everyone…the place where we release ourselves from guilt and shame, and declare to the world, “I’m not perfect!” In The Confessional, we find out that we are NOT the only one….everyone else is faking having it all together too…trust me! Do you smile when you see another child act out (grateful that it’s not just your child that does that..)? Do you suddenly gain a surge of confidence when the mom that ALWAYS looks perfect shows up to school one morning in sweats (not the CUTE sweats either..) and a ponytail? We all mess up…say things we shouldn’t…and use little shortcuts (that are quite handy in my opinion) to help us get through our day….We’re in this together…To check out all previous volumes of The Confessional, click here: Confessional Archives

Okay, now I have a confession. Today’s confessor did not let me know until this morning that they didn’t write their post…My confession: I did NOT feel like confessing today. However, the show must go on, and you must find your Sunday absolution…So, for the first time since Volume 6, I re-enter The Confessional….Here we go…

Father forgive me…

1. I just went upstairs to ask my husband to help me think up some things to confess. I said, “Can you help me think of some of the funnier mom mistakes I make…I need some confessions, and I can only think of the serious things that aren’t really funny…I don’t want to confess my lunacy…just the small things..” My husband’s eyebrow raise and smirk may perhaps be an indicator of the true degree of my mom crazy….

2.  Recently, as I was changing my son’s diaper, he peed all over me…the hem of my jeans was soaking…I had places to go that afternoon…and I went right ahead and just wore the pee pants…

3. My son Henry has a little tin of dominoes and a tin of playing cards that he ADORES. He carries them around everywhere and dumps them out all over the place. I got so tired of having to hunt all over the house for the pieces and constantly stack the cards, that I hid them….They are on the top shelf of his closet where he has no chance of reaching them….

4. Several years ago when our daughter was 2, and our middle child was a baby, we accidentally locked them in the running car. We happened to be outside of the local library, and to make matters worse, it was snowing. Our daughter knew how to push the button to open the doors….Instead of doing it, she was putting her hands over her ears and mouthing “I can’t hear you,” and pretending to read books (holding them about an inch away from her face.) When people happened to be walking by the car, we were saying things like, “Honey, could you pretty please push the button? Sweetheart, please go ahead and push the button for Mommy and Daddy.” almost in a sickly sweet tone. However, when people walked away…”Hannah Grace you open these doors right now! Push that button now!” etc. etc….Sometimes we were changing between the two tones several times in the same minute…we probably looked and sounded ridiculous…sigh…

5. I also locked my daughter in our house when she was about 18 months old….and she in turn, has locked her brother in our bedroom, and has locked the bathroom shut multiple times with no one in it….We don’t have the best luck with locks…

6. My idea of ironing involves my dryer and a good sturdy garment shake. (And let’s get real….that doesn’t even happen all that often…)

7. You know the little “fillers” they have in-between shows on the kid channels? The other day there was some kid music video about groundhogs…I found myself going, “Hmm..that bald guy is sorta cute…” and then I realize it was freaking Steve from Blue’s Clues…oh the shame…

8. I put High School Musical into our instant watch Netflix queue because I thought Hannah I might like it….

9. Recently, my middle child came down with a fever…It pains me to admit this, but one of my first thoughts was, “Thank God he’ll take a decent nap today.”

10. We had a big bbq here this summer. A vegetarian was coming, so we bought a pack of Veggie Burgers. She didn’t show, and now we’re stuck with a box of the things..My husband and I have NO interest in eating them (I seriously can’t stomach the idea of eating one..), but I have been making them for my kids, and telling them they are hamburgers. I just cover the tops with lots of cheese and condiments, so they won’t notice the difference…

11. A few days before Christmas, I took all three kids out by myself…We had been to several stores and had just finished up at Target. It was lunchtime, pouring down rain, and we were parked on the FAR end of the lot. I had just gotten the kids all strapped in when I noticed that my middle child had a box in his hand. He had grabbed something off a shelf while we were shopping, and I didn’t notice. The security alarm didn’t go off as we left the store.  I knew I should probably load everyone back into the cart, trudge through the rain, and go wait in line at customer service to return it….It’s still sitting in our hall closet…

Please let me know if YOU would like to take a turn confessing your sins to the world. I would like to fill the calendar for the next few months, so contact me to take your turn! The catharsis of it all is freeing, and you may walk away feeling better….forgiven…