I sit here, unable to control the tears streaming down my face, just in awe of what is happening in our lives….I think back to the early morning in July when we found out about this very unexpected miracle and cannot believe that tomorrow she will be in my arms…..A baby….a baby we never thought we’d have….that we never would have planned….and yet, she’s coming…tomorrow.
It’s funny how life twists and turns and brings us to face situations we never imagined. Sometimes life forces us to trudge through hardships only to find the most inexplicable blessings on the other end. When we’re right there, in the thick of it all, it can be so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know how many times I’ve found myself saying “I can’t do this,” only to find myself on the other side…
Last year, my family was in the midst of one of the most trying times we’ve been through. Life was pretty rough and it would have been very easy for us to lose hope. As I was reading in my devotions one day, I found the following passage, and the following Scripture quickly became anchor verses for me throughout that difficult time.
2 Corinthians 4: 16-18-“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.” (The Message)
Little did I know at the time just how literally I could have interpreted these verses….While everything else in our life was very seemingly falling apart, God WAS creating a new life…He was orchestrating His perfect plan and creating for us one of life’s richest blessings. Harper is a permanent reminder for us that God DOES provide, and will make a way….even when the way seems impassable. Even in the midst of all of the financial and emotional stress we were under, God was working on something more beautiful than words can describe…preparing a special gift for David and I to remind us not only of his provision, but of his perfect plan.
Was a fourth baby in OUR plan? No. Are there times when I find myself in the midst of a stressful afternoon with my existing three children and think, “How on earth am I ever going to do this?” All the time. Then I think back to everything I HAVE gotten through….and the amazing and unexpected blessings that were waiting on the other side. Just like it says in 2 Corinthians, “not a day goes by without His unfolding grace.” I know that just as He brought me through previous trials and life’s unexpected pathways, He will be all the strength I need as we face this new adventure that begins tomorrow.
I am confident that God can (and will) bring you through whatever it is that you are facing right now. I’ve been there….and I’ll be back there, because life is full of peaks and valleys. What has changed for me is knowing that sometimes the richest of blessings can be waiting on the other side. When we were certain we weren’t going to make it another day financially, and were wondering how on earth we would be able to provide for another child, God brought us through, providing a new job, new community, and a renewed faith in His timing and plan. When everything fell apart, we couldn’t see a way out. When I learned I was going to have to go through pregnancy again (which is VERY rough on me physically), I didn’t think I was strong enough to do it. However, I’m here….ready to come out on the other side of the tunnel…ready to receive that unfolding grace of God….(the grace He’d been providing every step of the way!)
As I sit here and feel the kicks, twists, and turns of my little girl for the last time, knowing that today is the last day I’ll ever be pregnant, I’m reminded of my God who loves me, and who has faithfully gotten me through all of life’s kicking, twisting, and turning….and given me something worth all the pain each time…Have the last nine months been fun? No….Tomorrow when I see the face of my little girl for the first time will there be any doubt in my mind that it will all have been worth it? Absolutely not. I’ve learned that trials and periods of difficulty make us better…stronger…more reliant on the only One who can help us get through it all.
As I sit and wait for Harper my prayer is that you will find the strength to make it out of your tunnel….that the light of day will shine for you soon, and that you will receive the blessings on the other end, knowing that it was all worth it. I leave you with another amazing piece of Scripture.
Psalm 27: 13-14 ” I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!”