Nine years ago today, I walked down the aisle and married my best friend, and truly the most amazing man….(I may be a little biased, but really, David is everything I could have ever hoped for and more in a husband and a father for my children!) David and I are alike in many ways….we’re both visionary, “big picture” people, and have a passion for leadership. We like being funny, having friends over, and well, as our best man said at our wedding, we’re the two dorkiest people he knows. (So true…..I OWN my inner dork.) However, in lots of ways, David and I are VERY different….and I’m so glad. While at times our quirks and differences bother each other, we end up able to challenge each other, push each other, stretch each other’s comfort zone….He has made me a better person, and has taught me SO much. Today, in honor of my awesome husband, I wanted to share a few life lessons I’ve learned from David.
I am Type A to the extreme….to a fault….I literally cannot sit still and actually DISLIKE relaxing. David is constantly reminding me that it is okay to stop and take a break….that my world will not end if I let myself sit and watch tv for a few minutes rather than frantically washing all the windows at 9:30pm…Taking a break is good for the soul, and can help keep us from resenting our work as a wife and a mother.
2. Everyday love is better than movie love
So often as women, we can let crazy expectations disappoint us. I wrote a post that talked about how we can allow our unrealistic expectations about love and marriage (that we typically believe in due to movies and books) to keep us from noticing the incredible day to day love we have….the moments that truly comprise a marriage…a partnership…As I’ve thought back over our years together, my very favorite “Bekki and David” moments aren’t elaborate, fancy, or planned….and not one of them involved any type of moonlit dancing. The times I cherish the most, are the moments where we’ve just enjoyed life together….right in the moment…not waiting for something “special” or “magical” to happen…just letting the “right now” be enough. Stop waiting for Hollywood and recognize what you have. Stop expecting and start accepting.
3. Don’t be a “worst case scenario” jumper
Oh boy….am I a serial offender on this one…I typically always jump to the absolute worst case scenario, often without even stopping to process or attempt any semblance of rational thought. God bless my husband for putting up with me, and for always reminding me to stop, and really think about the situation with a level head. Nine times out of ten, the situation is not as bad as you think it is, and jumping to conclusions about other people’s motives, thought processes, etc doesn’t help anything. Stay calm. Find out information (from the correct source!), and don’t assume the worst….
4. Dream BIG
One of my favorite things to do with David, is to sit and dream. We often write down our dreams, and don’t keep anything from the list…whether we think it is realistically achievable or not. I used to think it was silly of him to sit and think about possibilities that might not ever happen…now I encourage him to do that, and do it myself. So yes, now I daydream about publishing a book, becoming recognized as a go-to resource/advocate for moms, and think about our log home on a giant orchard….I have no idea what my future holds, but why not dare to think of what is possible?! Hope keeps life interesting….gives you something to shoot for…keeps you moving forward…So, write down your dreams…tape them up and read them….you can do it! (This also makes for a really fun date! We like to head to a park in Portland, people watch, and talk about our dreams…super fun, and cheap!)
5. Embrace your gumption
So many people fear change….resist movers and shakers….dislike big ideas…My husband is a champion for all of these things ,and has taught me to embrace my gumption. Challenge the status quo, follow your convictions, stick up for the right thing (even if doing so is uncomfortable) and don’t be afraid to make waves.