Picture it. Your husband/boyfriend and a group of his buddies are heading out for boy’s night. They might stop and grab a burger and few beers, but what they’re really excited about is this new movie…They haven’t been able to stop talking about the smokin’ hot bodies of these perfect Hollywood starlets all week. Their tweets are all about how bangin’ her body is, and how they wish this was real life…..oh, what he wouldn’t do to catch some of that in person! He cannot wait to watch this girl dance in her thong on the big screen. How would you be feeling about yourself? Your body image? Your self esteem? Feeling like his first choice? Feeling honored and respected? Probably not.
However, when it comes to sex, lust, and pornography, we have a HUGE double standard. My friend Joy, posted a vlog a few weeks ago on the same topic, concerning 50 Shades of Grey, and I think the same principle applies with things like the new film, “Magic Mike.” If our husband is struggling with pornography, talks about other women, flirts with salesgirls, talks about his “list,” etc, we’re hurt (and hurt may be a huge understatement for some women)…disrespected…trust has been broken…We begin to doubt if we’re good enough…if we are “enough” for him…if we hold his interest…We look at ourselves and begin to question our worth and our beauty.
At the same time, we’re quick to throw out the standards we hold our husbands to, and don’t stop to consider the way our actions in this area can affect him as a man. While a man may not be as quick to get on the defensive, stop and consider how your man may feel about you going on and on about Channing Tatum’s abs for five minutes….how he feels watching your eyes light up at the thought of Matthew McConaughey stripping…If you’re not reacting to him in the same way or demonstrating your sexual excitement (sorry mom) towards him, it’s likely his ego/self-image will be wounded. Men have emotions too….Men struggle with body image and want to be “enough” for us as their wives. When we are ogling other men, be it on-screen or off, we are ultimately disrespecting our husband, and failing to honor our marriage commitment to one another.
Lust goes both ways…While we as women may not be hitting up the internet for hard-core porn, if a movie we watch or a book we read causes us to think sexual thoughts about someone other than our husband, we’re guilty of lust.
I’m not here to tell you to not see this movie….Your choices are yours, and only you know what will and won’t affect your relationship. I just put this out there so we might take a pause, and consider if we are living out a double standard on the issue of sex/lust, and how you might feel if the tables were/are turned. If you are a woman who has a husband that struggles with pornography, you know what it does to you….how it affects your emotions….your esteem…I don’t want to be a wife that causes my husband to doubt himself. I don’t want David to ever question where my thoughts lie. I want and need him to know that my eyes are ONLY for him…and frankly, Channing Tatum’s got nothing on him!
Just ask yourself how you might feel if it were Magic Michelle….If the thought of that doesn’t make YOU feel very magical, then consider skipping it….and making some magic with the one you love instead.