I love spending time with other moms. Moms are amazing – and so many moms don’t have any idea just how good of a job they’re doing.
I spend a lot of time interacting with moms both online and real-life, and what I hear most often is “I’m not enough.” As moms we spend so much time doubting ourselves – holding ourselves to imaginary standards born out of unhealthy comparison. We convince ourselves that we are the only one who struggles – the only one who has bad days. We believe a lot of goofy things. (And I think those false beliefs are hurting us!)
These false beliefs just raise our unrealistic expectations and cause us to compare ourselves with other women. My hope is that we’ll stop worrying about what everyone else is doing – and just relish being who WE are. You are amazing – and these silly beliefs….they’re just that. Silly.
1. Everyone’s Else’s House is Always Clean
Do you clean your house like a crazy person before anyone comes over? So does everyone else.
2. Everyone Stays Caught Up On Laundry
Nope. Every mom climbs Mt. Laundry from time to time…or most of the time…whatever. 😉
3. If I Showed Up At Someone’s House Unannounced, She Would Look Perfect
I have literally answered my front door in a t-shirt, a pair of my husband’s boxer shorts (complete with hairy legs), a ponytail, and a blanket wrapped around me. While I get dressed in regular outfits most days, I definitely do NOT look the same in public as I do in private. Case in point – current state is ripped jeans, favorite sweatshirt, simple straight down hair, and no makeup.
4. Social Media Accurately Reflects Life
Anyone who has ever scooted mess out of the way before snapping a pic, told crying/fighting kids to stop for 2 seconds so you could take a picture (that you probably captioned with #blessed), or taken a dozen+ takes of a casual selfie know that social media is a highlight reel -and not an accurate reflection of “behind the scenes” life. (Btw – I’m guilty of all three of the above!) Most women only post the highs….the best parts of their day…their life. It’s never the whole picture.
5. Most Moms Make Fancy Gourmet Dinners Every Night
See #4. 😉 This mom is most definitely not a foodie. I fix very “regular” food – tacos, spaghetti, waffles, soup…nothing fancy. And you know what? It doesn’t need to be fancy. Serve Cheerios. Heat up a pizza. Your family is getting fed and that’s what matters.
6. I’m the Only Mom Who Ever Yells
You most definitely are not. ARE NOT! (See, told you so.) 😉
7. I am not enough.
This is the most dangerous false belief of all. This one goes beyond comparison – beyond believing silly untruths about other moms…other women.
Don’t let your head hit the pillow one more night believing that you are not enough. Don’t let past mistakes cause you to lose sight of the incredible job you are doing. You are who those babies need. You are the shoulder and ear for your teen. You are the comforting arms for your toddler. You are the safe place for your tween and the home-base for your grown child.
Broken mother, wearied by your past and worried by the unknown future – rest easy. You matter. You have great worth. You are enough.
You may not be whole, happy, or the person you want to be. Every day may be more difficult than the day before. No matter what mountain you are facing or what hole you need to dig yourself out of, know that you are EXACTLY the mother your child needs. On purpose – for a purpose. You are loved. You are valuable. You are enough.
Let’s stop these harmful comparisons. Comparison takes us out of our moments. It steals them – right along with our joy, confidence, and security.
Let the ladies with the perfect make-up and pinteresty outfits do their thing. Let the crafty mom fill her fridge with seasonal projects. Let the gourmet woman snap as many pics of her food as she wants. That’s THEIR thing. You do yours.
YOUR thing can be different from THEIR thing. Different doesn’t mean less than. Differences are exciting – they mean we are owning who we are and doing what we were gifted to do. We are stronger better women when we stay true to who we are, enjoy OUR moments, and let everyone else live theirs.