Chatty mom at the grocery store, it’s not you, it’s me. Mom on the sidelines at the soccer game (that I’m not talking to), I don’t think I’m better than you. Woman in the school pick-up line, don’t take my silent avoidance personally. Friends and loved ones, please understand that I truly do care about you -I just may not be up for as many playdates, dinner parties, and outings. We love you – we just need our alone time.
Introverted mama – you are not alone.I get you. I understand. We’re a misunderstood group, and often perceived as judgmental or stand-offish. When we fail to make plans multiple times in a week, it’s not that we don’t like people or like going out – we just desperately need time to recharge and recoup.
We all know that being a parent is tough enough. As moms, we give just about everything we have to our children – including our energy. Throw playdates, school meetings, field trips, etc into the mix, and it’s enough to take an introvert into a deep people coma. I wanted to share a list of things that fellow introverted moms will appreciate – things that make us tired just thinking about them.
*Your stomach fills with absolute dread when your child receives an invitation to a birthday party, and there isn’t an email address listed to RSVP – only a phone number.
And when there is only a phone number, you’ll automatically try to send a text to it, instead of actually calling it. If that doesn’t work, you’ll try to finagle your spouse to RSVP for you.
*Speaking of birthday parties, introverted moms will agree that birthday parties where parents have to stay are terrible inventions. Terrible. We will never understand the moms that say things like, “this just gives the moms a nice chance to sit and visit.” We don’t want to visit. We want to have an hour and a half of quiet and time to ourselves.
*When you go to the park and another mom comes, you silently start praying that she won’t want to chat. You feel extremely tempted to leave and will typically find a reason to go explore a new section of the park. (Ie- “Hey kids – let’s go check out that bike path!”)
*If you find a dentist or doctor’s office that allows you to schedule your child’s appointment online – it’s like winning the lottery.
*Playdates will never be your favorite thing – and certainly not spontaneous playdates. It’s hard for us when someone texts to say, “Want to meet up at the park?” out of the blue. We need to plan ahead – and know that we have a buffer of alone time before and after interaction.
*Mom friends who complain about being bored during the week confuse us. Weeks without somewhere to go are the absolute best for us. We live for the week on the calendar with NO writing on it.
*School functions like “Back to School Night”, “Ice Cream Social”, or anything with the word “mixer” in it, wash waves of dread over you.
*When we make plans to hang out with a friend or fellow mom, and they bring along their neighbor, sister in law, old college room-mate in town for the weekend, etc. and we don’t know about it ahead of time, it feels like an ambush. Unless you’re talking about books or donuts, we don’t usually adopt the “more the merrier” way of life.
*Even though we might not want to attend every play-date or mom’s day out event we get invited to, we still like to be invited.(And thank you to those of you who continue to invite us, even if we say no sometimes.)
*Salespeople that come to the door are annoying to most people – but for us, a drop-by visit, be it by the Kirby man or the neighbor across the street is awful. We need time to mentally prepare to be around people. We’re not spontaneous and we are not ready to socialize or hang out at a moment’s notice.
*Towards that end, we’re typically not fans of neighbor kids just dropping by to play. Adding another child to our mix is draining enough, let alone the likelihood that we’ll now have to have an unplanned interaction with their parent.
*When your child comes home excited about being invited over to another child’s house to play – and you’re happy for them until you realize you’ve never met the parents and now you have to…..
*Grocery shopping alone is magical. Having an hour or two without having to speak or “be on” is so so good for the soul.
*Finding a friend or group of friends who let you be you, understand that you can’t always hang out, and accept what you have to give are like gold to us. Pure gold.
Hang in there introverted mama. You’re my people. We’re in this together (but you know, separately – and without all the small talk.) 😉
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